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Joke of the Day

"Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget."

"What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use? Arab spring"

"Does anybody have any really old jokes that are actually funny? I'm talking antiques, 100 years +."

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""coincide"" -could u use it in a sentence? Sure: When the nickel murdered the penny it was a case of ""coincide"""

"The only thing I want to ""portion control"" is my time spent at work."

"What gets wetter as it dries your mom"

"Racism is like Nickelback... I like to joke about it, but I never want to see it live."

"Oral sex makes your day Anal sex makes your hole weak"

"What's a horse's number one priority when voting? A stable economy..."

"What is the difference between British and American schoolchildren? British schoolchildren survive hide-and-seek."