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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""coincide"" -could u use it in a sentence? Sure: When the nickel murdered the penny it was a case of ""coincide"""

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"Who is Hitler's favourite character in Star Wars? Princess Leiabensraum"
"I told my wife she was prettier when she didn't wear glasses She said ""So are you"""
"Why is Reddit tired of the broken arms joke? Because it appears in every mother fucking thread"
"Friday night. Gonna put on my dancing shoes, throw on my coolest shirt, and aimlessly browse Netflix for an hour"
"TIL %90 of statistics are made up. The other %10 comes after you make a title."
"still can't say ""jk"" without whispering ""rowling"""
"A conversation between 2 vegans: ""I'm a vegan."" ""I'm a vegan too."" ""Oh."" ""So...you're a vegan?"" ""Yes, I am a vegan."" ""Me too."""
"I was a trampoline salesman Off and on."
"How many tickles does it take an octopus to laugh? Tentickles"