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Joke of the Day

"Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing."

"Morning is the time when everyone is jealous of unemployed."

"Such a sad day - a friend of mine died of heartburn Still can't believe Gaviscon"

"Q: Why are men like laxatives? A: They irritate the shit out of you."

"Family: come play dodgeball Me: nah Fam: oh come on Me: no thanks Fam: JUST PLAY Me: *nails 6 year old in the face*"

"whats the difference between jam and marmalade?..... You can't marmalade your dick into a chick's ass."

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves"

"What do you call a Christian who visits shrines? A roamin' Catholic."

"My husband's signature move in bed is to roll over and take eighty percent of the covers with him."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To say hello to the other side."