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Joke of the Day

"Get off your high horse. Send your high horse to rehab. Keep an eye out to make sure your horse isn't getting high again."

"Bernie Sanders If I had a nickel for every time a redditor posted about something Bernie Sanders, I'd be the kind of person he is always smearing. A BILLIONAIRE!"

"What's Pink and Hard??? A Pig with a Flip Knife."

"What shatters faster than your smartphone screen? A newborn with osteoporosis."

"Give me a compliment. A woman looks into the mirror and says to her husband: ""I feel fat, old and ugly, give me a compliment"". The man replies: ""Your eyes are still working great""."

"Coffee shop barista thinks I look homeless because I'm fashionable. Joke's on her. I look homeless because I'm lazy."

"What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch"

"Camouflage training ""Soldier!"" ""Yes, sergeant!"" ""I haven't seen you at camouflage training today!"" ""Thank you, sergeant!"""

"It would have been more realistic if that Michael Jackson hologram last night touched a few little little boys in the front row."

"I will literally punch you in the throat the next time you misuse the word ""literally""."