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Joke of the Day

"Give me a compliment. A woman looks into the mirror and says to her husband: ""I feel fat, old and ugly, give me a compliment"". The man replies: ""Your eyes are still working great""."

"*Michael Cera stubs his toe on a cotton ball*"

"Dating. I met my wife at a Singles Bar. Funny thing is, I thought she was at home looking after the kids."

"The inventor of inappropriate innuendo has died. His family are taking it really hard."

"A man walks into the shop of a psychic barber Barber: Say no more"

"[at dave's who has like 9 dogs] me: ""what d'you call a fly with no wings"" dave: ""keith dont"" me: ""a WALK!"" [drowns in a tidal wave of dogs]"

"Apple CEO While world is crazy about Apple........ its CEO is crazy about bananas"

"Did you hear about the farmer who equipped all his horses with firearms? He was a man who really wanted more bang for his buck."

"A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants... They're up for grabs."

"My parents said they liked my DNA strand model. I said, ""Thanks. It's a nice pair of genes."""