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Joke of the Day

"What shatters faster than your smartphone screen? A newborn with osteoporosis."

"Hubs says when I drink I'm ""too loud"" and use too many ""big words."" WELL I'M SORRY IF MY VOCIFEROUS GRANDILOQUENCE BOTHERS YOU!!"

"My penis died. Can I bury it in your vagina?"

"When people are kissing in public, it's weird how angry they get when you try and join in."

"I am fluent in Italian and Spanish, but I'm much better at Italian I guess you could say that Italian is my forte"

"A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar... ...and the bartender looks at them and says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"Sometimes I get the urge to run around naked.. But then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking."

"How do you get a white trash girl to suck your dick? Dip it in ranch dressing."

"What's the Difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? One's $2.50 and the Other's Under a Buck!"

"""open up, this is the police!"" ""well, I've felt alone since my girlfriend left me, I'm sad all the time-"" ""no the door open up the door"""