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Joke of the Day

"I tried committing suicide today Not going to do that again almost killed myself"

"Big explosion in a paint factory tonight, 10 people missing, presumed red."

"girlfriend asks you to get wine: You're getting laid wife asks you to get wine: You're getting yelled at"

"What did the zombie farmer say he wanted? Grrraaaaiiinnns..."

"How much money do porn stars make? A fuckload."

"A farmer just burst into tears because nobody likes eating his apples anymore... I told him to grow a pear."

"What do you call an alligator that starts something? An insti-GATOR!"

"What is Homer Simpson's favorite rapper? A. Butter Finger"

"My dog and I have a system together. We both eat, then we walk... Then we both shit in my neighbors lawn."

"Get $10 off any drug purchase by using coupon code ""Do you have change?"""