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Joke of the Day

"What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo!"

"What did airport security tell the Dentist? We need to give you a cavity search"

"Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead."

"What do you call a bird that has been molested? Rustled Crow"

"[I just barely squeeze thru the elevator doors as they shut, however my chain wallet get caught, ripping my pants off as the elevator rises]"

"I was verbally abused as a child. The bigger verbs at school would kick my ass. ""Stop conjugating yourself!"" they'd say mockingly."

"I went to an Anglican church recently... They do communion a little bit differently there. You just walk up, kneel down, and the priest sticks it in your mouth."

"Transsexuals just aren't what they used to be"

"The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon."

"Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane."