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Joke of the Day

"How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said, ""I don't wanna be Obama self."""

"My neighbour said I'm not allowed to feed the baby raccoons living in their shed. I wonder if they'd prefer left over chicken to sandwiches"

"If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to"

"An Irishman walks into an AA meeting. Just kidding."

"What does an epileptic vegetarian eat? Seizure Salad"

"Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it... But those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it! **Credits to Rob Denbleyker of Cyanide & Happiness**"

"What's the difference between light beer and having sex in a boat? Nothing. They're both fucking near water."

"The funny thing about fast food is, that it slows down the people who eat it."

"#ThingsGirlsDoThatGuysHate tease a man and get all his attention while the second velociraptor ambushes him from his blind spot"

"A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor I have yellow teeth what do I do? Dentist: Wear a brown tie!"