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Joke of the Day

"How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said, ""I don't wanna be Obama self."""

"It's okay to laugh at cancer, you'll probably get it."

"Did you guys hear about the kidnapping? He woke up."

"Did anyone else see that episode of Scooby Doo where they unmask the villain only to find out it was someone else all along?"

"[rap battle] Opponent: *crushes it* Me: Oh, I... umm. I thought this was something else... *hastily hides plastic wrap behind back*"

"The president of Iran visited Italy And all of the nude statues were covered during his visit. It was a precaution as they may have made his 9 year old wife uncomfortable."

"I'm going to name my dog ""Syndrome"". Whenever he jumps on someone, I can yell, ""Down Syndrome!""."

"Why shouldn't a dentist and manicurist be in a relationship? All they will do is fight tooth and nail!"

"In addition to Billie Chin and little Sammy Chong, there is another character in Carl Douglas's ""Kung Fu Fighting."" Expert Tai Ming."

"Nice try, horror movies, but the scariest thing I've ever seen is still a 4-year-old holding a sharpie without the cap."