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Joke of the Day

"{discussing wedding dresses} CW1: I had mine preserved. CW2: I donated mine to a charity. You? Me: I used mine as kindling for a bonfire."

"A man walks into a therapist's with just clingfilm around his waist therapist says, ""I can clearly see you're nuts""."

"I lost my eldest daughter to suicide. One down, two to go"

"Why is one thousand million billion trillion so bad? It's very naughty"

"Whenever I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind, I just run a few ideas by my cat and then I feel better."

"Bill Cosby was actually gonna be in a Marvel movie He was gonna play Sandman."

"New twist on an old joke (long) Don't know if this is the right place for this but I think fellow joke-lovers will think it's amazing. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/guy-walks-into-a-bar"

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? They like 50% off everything"

"*i get home riding a pig* Wife: Hey honey, how was the ""Hog Riders"" meeting? Me: *sighs* Pointless...this one was for motorcycles too."

"If you win three games of Twister in a row you're automatically a yoga instructor."