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Joke of the Day

"I lost my eldest daughter to suicide. One down, two to go"

"My therapist keeps telling me to stop dating women who believe in the healing powers of crystals and I'm all like, ""Nope."""

"I'm still a virgin because I'm waiting for someone special. I have a retard fetish."

"For my photography project, I took my camera to a strip club Everyone in my photos came out a little over-exposed."

"Found a wooden shoe in my toilet it was clogged saw on last comic standing"

"I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!"

"There is a blonde and a zebra in a bath tub... And the blonde asks the zebra, ""can you pass the soap?"" The zebra says, ""What do you think I am? A fucking typewriter!?"""

"Breaking News: A Pillow Did you hear about the corduroy pillow on the news? ... It made headlines..."

"What did the Reddit using CVS cashier say about the man buying condoms after he left... ...this guy fucks."

"WHY WAS THE BROOM LATE FOR WORK? BECAUSE IT OVERSWEPT."