200107

Joke of the Day

"If my name was Dave I'd text my friends today saying ""IT'S FRIDAVE! LET'S PARTY!"". They'd be sick of me by Tuesdave."

"I bought a book on eBay called, ""How to scam on eBay"". That was 2 months ago, and it's not arrived yet"

"How do you make a hippopotamus float? 2 hippos and a LOT of root beer."

"Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: - Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what did the dentist say?"

"How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd? They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips."

"U-HAUL, may I help you? ""You have any moving boxes?"" No all our boxes stay still ""Well you better go- wait what?"" Stop calling here, Dad"

"why did the man cross the road? he had his dick stuck in a chicken"

"I like to go into changing rooms in the mall and yell ""help they're all out of toilet paper."" It really scares the shit out of the employees"

"Slowly crawl towards your sleeping dog, put your face directly next to its face, and whisper ""I know it's been you shitting in my yard."""

"A wise chinese guy once said to me ""if the dog barks, it's undercooked"" - Some wise chinese guy"