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Joke of the Day

"So they say rubbing the Buddha statue's belly gives you good luck... ...imagine if you sucked his dick."

"So I called the suicide hotline earlier... I was answered with, ""Thank you for calling Mr. Archipelago0. We will be processing your request shortly."""

"I was researching facts about euthanasia... They're extremely malnourished"

"My wife has developed a fetish with salad items... Earlier today she spent an hour trying to force a lettuce into my ass. And that was just the tip of the iceburg"

"Feel free to not tell me how sore you are from working out."

"Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag."

"Chef 1: You can't serve cake for breakfast, moms won't allow it. Chef 2: What if we fry it in a pan & pour syrup all over it? 1: GENIUS!"

"Whats a Porn Stars Favorite Drink? 7up in cider."

"What cake wanted to rule the world? Attila the Bun."

"I spent ages trying to cross a busy road. Some passer-by said, ""There's a zebra crossing fifty yards up the road."" I thought, ""I hope he's having better luck than me."""