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Joke of the Day

"Despite hating tomatoes, I was a tomato in a school play. I put my personal beliefs aside and nailed the role because I was a professional."

"How many Mormons do you take fishing with you? Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer."

"""The hell with friendship, our top priority has always been between our legs."""

"Did you hear about that new car made entirely from wood? It's crazy! Wooden wheels, wooden windows, wooden engine... Wooden move."

"Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up."

"Cheer up Hilary! At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under."

"Why didnt Jesus become a boxer? Crosses killed him."

"Can we please be straight here- when you hit the wrong key by accident, that is a typo. When you can't spell the word, that is NOT a typo."

"I hope I look half as good on my wedding day as I do on my divorce paper-signing day."

"What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread? I don't dough!"