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Joke of the Day

"[Blackstreet Bakery] Me: [watching the baker kneading dough] ""I love the way you work it"" Baker: ""No diggity?"" Me: ""Baguette up."""

"There's always some truth behind: Just kidding, Knowledge behind: I don't know, Emotion behind: I don't care & Pain behind: It's okay."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass..."

"A 5 day juice diet. They said I would ""feel it"" working in just 5 days. They were right, I've never felt more hungry in all my life."

"What's a German Ninja drink beer out of? A clandestein."

"What gets wetter the more you dry it? A woman with a towel fetish"

"I'm not a Christian... But as a gay man I wouldn't object to being nailed bloody up against some hard wood."

"Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*"

"Did you hear what happened at the indian restaurant yesterday? Apparently it was a Naan event."

"That guy who ran through the White House could go to prison for ten years, so there's another reason I don't run."