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Joke of the Day

"Her: How in the world did we max out the credit card?? Me: Beats me *pushes $20K worth of Care Bears under the bed"

"Gay people, man. They're confused... ...and not thinking straight"

"What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Donald Trump's tie."

"A Scotsman walks into a bar.... There is usually an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman, but they're all still in France :("

"What is an injured persons favorite movie? Cast Away"

"What do you call a Norse god after a workout? Thor"

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!"

"I'll bet Johnny Depp is somewhere supercool right now, wearing 7 scarves."

"Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant? Because they always miss their target!"

"I'm naming my kid Johncena Because he was unexpected"