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Joke of the Day

"If you're a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money"

"I stay awake at night wondering... I stay awake at night wondering if hooked on phonics has a hotline for addicts."

"What do you do when you see a Jew in Compton? Challah at ya boy!"

"Hitting on women is like doing Parkour.. I can't do Parkour."

"What kind of blowjob does a screwdriver give? Flathead"

"Law of attraction to females If I had a nickel for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."

"What's the best thing about oral sex? The 5 minutes of peace and quiet!"

"What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z? They're not infallible"

"I asked the barista for a Nyquilatte. He was really hairy, like a werewolf. A ""wereista"" if you will. I may have already had some Nyquil."

"What Is Bluetooth ? When your toothbrush stops working mid brushing"