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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me her bra and boobs aren't getting along... ... they had a falling out. ^^^^^^^I'll ^^^^^^^leave ^^^^^^^now..."

"if carrots could get you drunk.... rabbits would be fucked up."

"You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn't murdered her."

"HIM: My new girlfriend's name is ""Bella"". That means ""Beautiful"" in Italian. ME: It also means ""War"" in Latin...so good luck with that."

"Beauty is only skin deep ... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!"

"A broom and a mop have sex. What happens next? The broom gets sweepy."

"How Did I Make It To The Middle East? Iran there."

"I found a lamp in a back alley When I rubbed it the genie said 'You may have a long memory, or a long penis' I forget my response"

"[on a date] *showing her pics of my pet lizards* ME: ""and I named this one Queen Elizardbeth"" HER: ""I must have sex with you immediately"""

"Me: I should stop drinking Me: Why? Me: I dunno Me: You're awesome when you drink Me: Really? Me: Yeah Me: Thanks, me. You're alright"