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Joke of the Day

"Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it."

"Question: What's another name for pickled bread? Answer: Dill-dough."

"If you want to go running with me, you'd better be prepared to walk a lot."

"Operator: 999, emergency services. Which service do you require? Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen."

"If your wife is shouting Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog -- at least he'll quiet down after you let him in."

"Why aren't jokes in base eight funny? Because 7, 10, 11!"

"HOW DO PIGS TALK? SWINE LANGUAGE."

"Get the sand out your vagina. if you loose a player match and don't want your rematch bcuz your too pussy, why still try and talk shit xD."

"First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"What's a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? COMET"