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Joke of the Day

"After reading your recent updates, I'm surprised that Facebook hasn't yet asked you, ""Whatever's on your mind, could you keep it to yourself?"""

"Yesterday my friend said he was scoring all of these bitches! It turned out he was just walking 15 pitbulls! Lame..."

"The NSA is to blame for obesity in The United States. Because the camera ads 10 pounds."

"Sing me a song you're the piano man / clean out my pool you're the gardener /now light up my room you're a ceiling fan"

"Might be a racist What has 4 legs and a trunk? The 2 nigerians that stole my trunk"

"I have a useless talent."

"My Dad died recently, but unfortunately I slept in and missed the funeral I guess I'm not a mourning person"

"Ever see a jack ass wrapped in plastic? If not... Look at your drivers license."

"Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg and the guy who played the blue Power Ranger are cousins? Just not to each other. But they are cousins."

"What is green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."