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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg and the guy who played the blue Power Ranger are cousins? Just not to each other. But they are cousins."

"When someone starts making fun of my air guitar skills I just whip out my finger pistols and it usually shuts them right up."

"What is long, green, and has ""cum"" in it? A cucumber! Totally a cucumber..."

"Got a long rambling phone call in spanish.. I don't know who they were, or what they were saying, but im pretty sure they're bringing me tostadas in one hour."

"I'm writing a horror story. It's about a girl who forgets her headphones and her colleagues think it's ok to talk to her. So much blood."

"Why was skrillex banned from the music shop? for dropping the bass too much"

"A local grocery bagger has been bagging cola on top of bread. Many were concerned that their bread would be flattened. His response to their concerns was ""It's fine. They're soft drinks"""

"I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Women With cream in her"

"Movie Ratings Explained G: Nobody gets the girl. PG: The good guy gets the girl. R: The bad guy gets the girl. X: Everybody gets the girl!"

"What would make Batman really salty? Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-"