62014

Joke of the Day

"What do the films 'Titanic' and 'The Sixth Sense' have in common? Icy dead people."

"I almost got hit by a car today, but due to a swift maneuver I was able to not get hit. It was a Dodge."

"What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand? A trillionaire."

"Viagra, it won't make you James Bond... But it will make you Roger Moore."

"What's the difference between watts and ohms? Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live."

"Doctor doctor I keep dreaming there are great gooey bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks."

"Old experiment #You are now breathing and blinking manually. #also you are aware of your tongue now. Let me know if this worked"

"THE HUMAN BODY 12 Wildly inconsistent design. Leaks fluids. Zero protection from drop damage. Can be killed by bees/peanuts. NOT RECOMMENDED"

"What do mexicans call their erect penises? Beaners"

"Say what you want about North Korea, but... something something /r/Pyongyang"