62006

Joke of the Day

"Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it."

"""I enjoy short walks to the fridge"" - Fat people personal ads"

"How can you tell if someone's a vegan? Don't worry--THEY'LL FUCKING TELL YOU."

"I'd like to thank the British for wearing red coats and making it easier to shoot them 238 years ago. We couldn't have done this without you"

"a neurology proffeser is doing a lesson about orgasims. .. He asks one of his femal students ""what do you think your asshole is doing when you orgasim"" she replies "" its out playing golf"""

"Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."

"they say that if you play nickelback backwards, it's devil worship... But even worse, if you play it forwards it's nickelback"

"TIFU by using disinfectant wipes on my ass. Just joking!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alice ! Alice who ? Alice N. Tew if you'll listen to me !"

"Jesus: and when there was but 1 set of footprints, there I carried u Me: (checks fitbit) ok, phew, it counted the steps, I still got credit"