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Joke of the Day

"they say that if you play nickelback backwards, it's devil worship... But even worse, if you play it forwards it's nickelback"

"What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level? Pencil-in."

"I just 'borrowed' $20 from my teenage daughter. She's such an idiot."

"Can't wait till bin Laden slips up and checks-in on Foursquare."

"((Sigh)) I would love to get a new BMW i8 It definitely will get the most gals per mile in city driving."

"A woman brings her items to the resister A woman brings five chocolate bars, a tub of ice cream, and some pregnancy tests to the counter Cashier: ""Ma'am, I don't think you need those pregnancy tests"""

"married sext... him: I'll be home soon her: don't you threaten me"

"I use Facebook mostly to keep in touch (without leaving the house) with people whom I do not wish the share my cell number with..."

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."

"double negatives what is the greatest double negative/oxymoron of all time? A happy Marriage"