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Joke of the Day

"Jesus: and when there was but 1 set of footprints, there I carried u Me: (checks fitbit) ok, phew, it counted the steps, I still got credit"

"People that over-exaggerate are the absolute worst."

"If I had a dollar for every time somebody got the punchline wrong I'd have a lot of euros"

"Are you ever going to use those Styrofoam plates? No, they're not biodegradable. Well throw them away then!"

"What's the difference between cum and Jello? Jello doesn't hit the back of your throat at 120 mph."

"Why can't you tell jokes in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11!"

"A police officer found two kids walking the streets. One had a battery and the other had a firecracker. He charged one and let the other one off"

"If guys call short girls ""petite"", what do girls call short guys? Friends."

"Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people"

"Have you heard of the movie called ""Diarrhea""? It's okay if you haven't - it was a quick release."