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Joke of the Day

"Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries In Teenage Girls... (REMOVED)"

"Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes in the bathroom."

"I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, ""What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, ""Hello?"""

"An Elephant walks into a bar bartender asks why long nose. Elephant: Mind your own fucking business."

"If Kim Kardashian & Snooki were drowning & I could only save one, I'd have a hard time deciding whether to make a sandwich or take a nap."

"My mother always said, ""Pick your clothes up off the floor, I'm not your maid."" When I went to college the dorm had a maid who told us, ""Pick your clothes up off the floor, I'm not your mother."""

"It's so weird to think that nothing before the invention of pics happened."

"Why did the PHP programmer go to the optician? because he didn't C#"

"Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees? Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!"

"I'm glad there isn't a pop quiz every time I claim to have read something."