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Joke of the Day

"If you watch the Game of Thrones backwards a family overcomes near death experiences to reunite happily in a castle (plus dragons shrink)."

"What happened when two hydrogen atoms collided? The doctor had to heal-ium."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Little Boy Blue Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson"

"I feel sorry for Justin Bieber. He's had to go to every Justin Bieber concert."

"You're in your 20's... you don't have ""haters""... you have ""adults"" that think you are ""annoying"""

"HR says I'm not allowed to scream ""OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP"" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :("

"What did the pea say to the peanut? At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about."

"You ever wake up with a hangover feeling proud that you didn't send embarrassing drunk texts the night before? What's it like?"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes no legs and no dick? Still no fucking idea"

"Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?"