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Joke of the Day

"This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder."

"I built a staircase using an online tutorial! When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step."

"I just invented a new word: plagiarism."

"GOD: Eyelashes ANGEL: What do they do? GOD: Protect eyes ANGEL: And? GOD: Get into people's eyes. It's extremely painful. ANGEL: Are you ok?"

"I got my drug dealer arrested the other day Maybe next time you'll wish me happy birthday, mom"

"My brother's dying wish was to get a joke into the front page of reddit But it seems rude to post a photo of him now that he's dead."

"How to write Icelandic: 1) Put a dictionary in a blender 2) Blend 3) Pour onto table. 4) Voila!"

"Which class the The Flash hated the most while in college? Physics..."

"I would imagine there really isn't any market for sea shells down by the sea shore considering the abundance of free sea shells."

"I need a way to keep fit that will make me look like a crazy person so no one will approach me while I do it. -inventor of powerwalking"