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Joke of the Day

"How to write Icelandic: 1) Put a dictionary in a blender 2) Blend 3) Pour onto table. 4) Voila!"

"My friend drove into a tree earlier... I wonder if he's oaky"

"I was watching a movie with my son earlier. Gripping my hand he said: ""Dad I'm scared, is that woman going to die?"". ""Judging by the size of that horse's cock, yes""."

"What's black, white and red all over? South Africa"

"Coworker: Do u have a phone charger? Me: No. CW: How about the 1 on your desk? Me: WHO ARE U CALLING A JIGGABOO LINDA?! CW: OMG! *runs away*"

"My mom told me not to hang out with bad girls, she never said don't be one."

"Every time I raise my arm a little, a falcon lands on it. It was super-cool at first, but now I'm starting to get annoyed."

"How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Vegans have the same capability of changing a lightbulb as non-vegans."

"Today I decided to study abroad... Or maybe two "

"Why are there no Walmarts in Iran? Because there's a JC Penny at every corner."