218298

Joke of the Day

"I'm getting married! Well, I have a new boyfriend! Okay, I have a date for tomorrow night! FINE. Shoe salesman said ""Come back soon""."

"I don't care what kinda lighter you have, its fair game if its unattended. Unless its engraved, then I'll give it back for Christmas."

"What did the doe say when she came out of the woods? I'm never doing that for two bucks again!"

"For Lent I've decided to give up my New Year's Resolutions, now pass the Girl Scout Cookies."

"Every time I use <3 in an @ to someone, I can't help but think, ""Please accept this carrot with balls as a token of how much I heart you."""

"BREAKING: John Terry spotted changing into his full German kit."

"Better than a Cuppa Joe! With a picture of a rooster...hahaha http://poptrendz.com/collections/t-shirts/products/womens-t-shirt-2"

"Why are prison escapees so frustrating? Because they never finish their s"

"Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?"

"HER: Can I give you my new number? ME: *Eye roll* I REALLY doubt you came up with a number I don't already know."