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Joke of the Day
"The clock was bored of his tick-tock... ...so he changed to a better tack-tick."
Next Joke
"My friend told me he holds a world record in quilt making I suspect his whole story is fabricated."
"eBay's search feature can be so useless sometimes and other times be equally worthless with overkill. I tried to look up cigarette lighters and they had 13,749 matches."
"Jesus wouldn't have been good at Twitter He would've only had twelve followers."
"What did the dog say to the tree? Bark"
"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you ..I'd start thinking about you."
"Chuck Norris uses pens on Scantron sheets."
"Somebody told me to stop singing ""Wonderwall."" I said maybe"
"FRIEND: OMG I'm so glad to get away from my kids for a bit ME: haha yeah I don't think I'll ever have kids FRIEND: no it's the best"
"""Get a womb!"" - me when I see two newborns making out."