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Joke of the Day

"When people show me pictures of their kids I show them pictures of my exes. If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine."

"You know, I really hate Mexican jokes that rely on sterotypes They just cross the border."

"Why was the waffle jealous of the pancake? The pancakes was flattered."

"I'm drinking some pretty average tea... It's Mediocritea."

"I went to a zoo but the only animal it had was one dog It was a shih tzu"

"How do Canadians take care of their skin? Maybe it's maple leaf."

"You can get used to everything. Except an icicle up your ass, because it melts before you get used to it. - A Finnish Proverb"

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? You would think it's 'R' but it's really the 'C'."

"I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot"

"M: Come to bed... Her: I have a headache M: You're a robot! H: M: H: ...SELF DESTRUCT [BOOM] M: Nice try but you're still under warranty!"