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Joke of the Day

"Police arrest two kids. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"Why are bank offices so cold? They're trying to freeze their assets."

"What Is A Mexican's Favorite Bookstore? Borders."

"I thought a vasectomy would prevent me from having babies. But all it does is change the color of my babies."

"PRO TIP: Name your first child ""butter"", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say ""I can't believe it's not butter!"""

"Q: What side of the dog has the most fur? - A: The Outside."

"A pirate is never late.... (x-post from Funny) A pirate is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to. Although admittedly drunk, on fire and uninvited."

"When someone says something to me, not only am I able to respond to them, I feel like I have to. It is my response ability."

"How do you write ""DO NOT TOUCH"" in braille ?"

"I hate how my job always expects me to show up."