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Joke of the Day
"Schools kind of like a penis.. long and hard, unless you're asian."
Next Joke
"What do you call a group of black people? Antique farm equipment."
"Life is scary At least the salary is funny"
"Who loves you more, your wife or your dog? Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk?"
"In a cave, I found pictures of women's breasts, but when I touched them, a giant net fell on me. Damn booby trap."
"I asked my North-Korean friend how it was there... He said he couldn't complain."
"GF taking me on a surprise V-Day getaway. At least I think. Not sure what the lime and shovel in the trunk with me are for though."
"[3am] *nudges wife* No way the old guy blew up all those balloons in Up in 1 night. Honey, you awake? I mean he's like a million years old."
"What kind of music does a factory worker listen to? Industrial Metal"
"Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman... But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become president."