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Joke of the Day

"My penis was in the guinness book of world records! And then the librarian told me to take it out"

"What do you call a Mexican lady with no legs? Cunt-sway-low"

"Heard of the man who banged an ATM? He came into a lot of money"

"Who's the biggest celebrity in the Vegetable world? Ocra Winfrey"

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween."

"So I heard they've leaked the working title of the Reeva Steenkamp biography... ""I'd rather die standing than live on my knees."""

"I was once a male trapped in a female's body but then my mother gave birth."

"A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was ahead, thefaucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up."

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't budget."

"What do you get when you cross... an insomniac, a dyslectic, and an agnostic... A: someone whos stays up at night wondering if there's dog"