60715

Joke of the Day

"The corner store started carrying Ben & Jerry's Creme Brulee ice cream so if anybody needs me I'll be fat"

"Describe yourself in three words. I am a rebel."

"Q: What kind of socks do you find in your backyard? A: Garden hose."

"What is a Pokemon's favorite kind of nut? A Pi-cashew"

"I opened a door for a girl, but then the crowd flow never stopped so I've been holding this door open for 3 days. Send help."

"If you watch Beauty & the Beast backwards a grown man devolves into a monster then into a petulant little boy. It's basically Twitter."

"A lot of people like to smoke ciggarettes after sex. But you can't buy ciggarettes until you're 16. So I have to get them for both of us"

"gOOD JOKE Bug run up tree into butthole."

"Read aloud I have a soft spot for damsels in disdress. What dress? Disdress or dat dress *Ba dum tish*"

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, But you'll have to find a really big lightbulb to fit them in there."