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Joke of the Day

"I opened a door for a girl, but then the crowd flow never stopped so I've been holding this door open for 3 days. Send help."

"I promise to remain the same grounded, gracious, friend I've always been after winning $7 from Powerball #dreams"

"What do you call a personal laptop floating in the ocean? A Dell - Rolling In The Deep"

"Chuck Norris can complete Halo 3 on Legendary. ...using a guitar hero controller."

"Wow! last night was crazy. I killed 15 zombies just in the first hour alone. Anyone know why they were all carrying sweets?"

"How do lesbian couples celebrate their anniversary? By eating out."

"What did the bacon say to the sandwich? This club can't even handle me right now"

"What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic's Association"

"""Hate it when I think of her and suddenly we're teleported to a picturesque location, and have to dance to a random love song."" - Indians"

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense"