6067
Joke of the Day
"Why was the shower crying It was being used."
Next Joke
"[doorbell] ""Sir, do you believe Jesus died for your sins?"" ""No."" ""Why not?"" ""He died like 2000 years ago."" ""So?"" ""I'm 46. Do the math."""
"If you had to decide between being fat and rich or poor and skinny, what bridge would you sleep under?"
"There's a new app for people recovering from bad dates. Anyone ever tried *Cinder*?"
"HR says I'm not allowed to scream ""OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP"" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :("
"Sometimes people ask me why I don't wear a watch. It is because I just don't have the time."
"It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end."
"I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts..... The plot was riveting!"
"No, please don't feel like you need to use your turn signal. I understand how difficult it can be to slightly move one finger."
"Before I had kids I never really reflected on life's little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?"