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Joke of the Day

"Why is F-time so much fun? Because F-time is Part-E time."

"What do you get when you cross Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris? Beat up."

"I heard this one from a crotchety old guy at Dunks yesterday What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire? Bernadette!"

"Did you hear about the pessimist who hates sausage? They say he fears the wurst"

"Can you believe they're still together after all that crap?!? (Who?) MY BUTTCHEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War? Juan down, a million more to go."

"I'm not the man you'd hoped for or even the man you wanted me to be. Perhaps you should have just once seen in me, the man I am."

"Well, I did it again. I focused on the one person at the concert who annoyed me and let it ruin my whole night."

"An atheist, christian, and a scientologist walk into a bar. The atheist and christian then beat the ever living shit out of the scientologist for being so damn stupid."

"What did the officials say whenever systematic punishment was banned? There's no punchline."