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Joke of the Day
"Roses are red... Violets are glorious. I wouldn't surprise Oscar Pistorius."
Next Joke
"I'm giving up, folks. Years of letters and phone calls making my case quite articulately but they still won't give the Muppets nipples."
"Colombian Necktie Did the man with the Colombian necktie like his necktie? He couldn't say."
"I'm gonna start a woman's monthly magazine called ""Period"", and some months I will send it out late to freak out subscribers"
"I hate weddings, funerals and the symphony. I never know when to clap."
"Like I was telling my friends, my wife walked into a door. and that pissed me off so I hit her."
"When done right parallel parking is a beautiful thing to watch."
"What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist? A Methodist will say ""hi"" to you at the liquor store"
"What's your favorite game if you wear a turban? Hide-and-Sikh"
"How do you know when you've played too much minecraft? When your friend wishes aloud that he could be creative and you tell him ,""your game mode has been changed."""