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Joke of the Day
"I had an affair with English. Since then, Math and I don't speak."
Next Joke
"""Will he ever wake up?"" He's been in a coma for 3 weeks but watch this. *starts playing Pitbull* *patient wakes up to turn off the music*"
"isis was planning to use biological warfare against David Cameron... but they got anthrax mixed up with tampax and poisoned the wrong cunt"
"My pet butterfly got a tattoo of my lower back"
"What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."
"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."
"Don't look at me like that, Barbie. We're both stuck in this playhouse. Just drink your tea. The toddler will tell us what to do next."
"Why can't the porcelain king go to the bathroom? He was dethroned."
"*gets several new followers on Sunday *adds Jesus to resume"
"Picture us, making love. Wrong. More cheese."