60419

Joke of the Day

"This DLC is getting out of hand... The DVLA want me to pay 60 to add three points to my driving license, because I beat my high score!"

"My wife is scrolling through Netflix to see what shows I watched between now and when she asked me to vacuum. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

"Gonna try and impress this hot girl biking next to me at the gym by answering the Who Wants to be a Millionaire questions out loud."

"Joke title Punchline"

"A really funny joke. http://youtu.be/h8ycKKA7LZI A work-in-progress from my stand-up set. Tell me what you think!"

"I always wondered why my girlfriend's ex had his fist clenched when he saw me with her. Then it hit me."

"Person on this home improvement show said everybody needs ""a good screwing surface."" Can't argue with that logic."

"Oral relief 'Darling, I want some.... Oral relief.' 'You mean you want a blowjob?' 'No, I just want you to shut up.'"

"the most American thing I've done today is pay $5 for a pre-sliced apple"

"Not to sound like a total jock but who won baseball this month?"