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Joke of the Day

" Cause the players gonna play play play The haters gonna hate hate hate Baby Im just gonna bottle it all up & develop severe trust issues "

"Q.How do we know there are so many environmentalists on reddit? A. Because everyone keep recycling the same jokes"

"*running from cops* Me: hey wait hold up if we're gonna do this i really should be wearing my fitbit Cop: yeah me too good idea"

"I asked a guy if he could hold my joke for me. guy ""Jokes aren't a thing, you can't hold them!"" me ""Wow, just can't take a joke can you."""

"My 9 day old baby keeps chanting ""put the means of production in the hands of the workers"""

"Everyone has that one friend who treats their Facebook status like their therapist."

"Sql Query A Sql query walks up to two tables in a restaurant and asks: ""Mind if I join you?"""

"My relationship Looks like vasectomy made a vas deferens to my relationship..."

"Me: What did you do at preschool? 3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down."

"You ask me if I'm drunk? Well just spent 10 minutes looking for my phone using the flash light app on my phone."