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Joke of the Day

"I've developed a phobia of elevators I'm taking steps to avoid them."

"Don't trust atoms. Don't trust atoms, they make up everything."

"By the time you finish reading this tweet, you will be slightly closer to death than you were before. I hope it was worth it."

"Wearing my lesbian boots today. Well, they're faux lesbian. I don't believe in using lesbians for leather, even if they're farm-raised."

"Two Cleaners In A Car... Broom Broom"

"Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Why did he do that? He was trying to save time!"

"What do you call a baby deer's droppings? FawnDoo! Nailed it."

"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire"

"What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome? If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off."

"DO NOT OPEN.PLEASE. I like you, you little rebel."