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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me I was one in a million When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right."

"What's angry, fluffy and destructive and gathers inside stringed instruments? Violint"

"Today I learned that Disney had to rename Moana in Italy because an Italian pornstar has the same name AND NO ONE KNOOOOOOOOWS HOW DEEP SHE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOES."

"I'm pretty sure my parents are getting me a sweater for Christmas, but I really would have preferred a moaner or screamer."

"What do you call a stupid beer? Daft!"

"""No, I'm fine."" - an angry girlfriend being attacked by lions"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station and ones a busty crustacean....."

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it."

"Imagine a masonry wall... Now, picture just one piece of it... This, my friends, is a mental block."

"What's long, hard and a bit shitty at the end? This joke."