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Joke of the Day

"If your ringtone is a Black Eyed Peas song you have 4 seconds to answer before the entire office throws their stapler at you."

"Never play poker with a pieces of paper. They're bound to fold."

"How do you know that Ash Ketchum is a pervert? Because he always takes a Pik-at-chu"

"Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxis."

"When you assassinate, you make an ass out of ass innate."

"I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant ""I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play too."""

"HER: What's your cell plan? ME: Bodily decay over decades until inevitable mortal collapse. You? HER: ... ME: ... HER: ... V-Verizon."

"I found a great app to search for Greek restaurants in your neighborhood. It's called Gyroscope."

"Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow."

"Girls are like dead babies... There's several in my basement"