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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece ofcelery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."

"WEDDINGH NIGHT What is long and hard and a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A new last name"

"Air & space museum. Shouldn't the air & space museum be empty?"

"The debates flipped gender roles. Last night we saw an argument between a woman who wanted to talk facts, and a man who only wanted to talk about his feelings."

"What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer? Grade eh?"

"whats brown and sticky? a stick!"

"I'm getting married! Well, I have a new boyfriend! Okay, I have a date for tomorrow night! FINE. Shoe salesman said ""Come back soon""."

"Son: Is it true? Dad I heard that in ancient China a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere son everywhere!"

"Wife: ""Did you know that some idiot paid $96,000 for Princess Leia's gold bikini?"" Me: [nervously tightening my robe] ""Who would do that?"""

"Why did Eminem make a terrible barista? Because he kept insisting everyone only get one shot."