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Joke of the Day

"If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!"

"I told a man I was voting third party He said, ""That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"" ""Simple,"" I replied, ""I'd pick the bullet."""

"Nostalgia Sure isn't what it used to be."

"I was told the Highlander was stopping by a Mexican nightclub When I showed up to the party, there was only Juan."

"Grapes.. What did the green grape say to the purple grape?.. BREATHE IDIOT, BREATHE."

"Auto correct changed ""group hug"" to ""grope hug"" and I'm not in charge of the team-building exercises any more."

"Today my wife was on her knees before me. ...screaming: ""Don't you hide under the bed, asshole!"""

"A new study shows body-image issues start as young as 3. How awful. That means 2-year-olds with gross bodies think they look okay."

"I like my cream like I like my slaves. Whipped"