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Joke of the Day

"*seductively slides hand along store shelf to distract you* *grabs last bag of Cheetos* *tucks, rolls, and runs away*"

"Still trying to figure out how Cee-Lo wipes his ass."

"I wanted to make an impromptu joke. But I wasn't ready."

"Sh*t happens... I mean look at you."

"Why would you chase a waterfall? They don't move to different spots you know. It's pretty much just right there."

"What do you call a Jewish incendiary device? A mazal tov cocktail"

"Wanted: 1 Psychic. You know who you are."

"A Women' Apology I am sorry, But it was Your mistake."

"so a polar bear walks into a bar and says: ""i'd like a...................................... beer."" and the bartender says: ""hey man, what's with the big pause?"""

"Give a man a fish, and he'll ask for a lemon; teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Fridays."