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Joke of the Day

"How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer!"

"I played tennis with a eunuch once... No competition, the balls were in my court."

"Kid: Mommy, can we get a pineapple? Mom: No, sweetie. I don't know how to cut them. Kid: I know Mommy! You use a knife."

"What do you call an assault which is both positive and negative? A battery."

"My Dyslexic Ex Was So Stupid... She thought she couldn't get pregnant after she got a DUI."

"Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!"

"My son is a star mathlete. He has developed a geometric formula for fitting his body perfectly into a locker."

"What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Anything you want. He can't hear you."

"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologise"" mean the same thing...except when you're at a funeral."

"""How high are you! ?"" demanded the officer. ""No Officer, it's ""Hi, how are you?""."" replied the kid."